Madame Web:  Gets Stuck in Its Spidey Sense

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MOVIE INFO:

In a switch from the typical genre, Madame Web tells the standalone origin story of one of Marvel publishing’s most enigmatic heroines. The suspense-driven thriller stars Dakota Johnson as Cassandra Webb, a paramedic in Manhattan who develops the power to see the future… and realizes she can use that insight to change it. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she forges a relationship with three young women bound for powerful destinies… if they can all survive a deadly present.

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REVIEW:

I think the terrible reviews for Madame Web were not because it was bad, but that  it’s pretty unmemorable.   The director S.J.Clarkson and the screenwriting team of five veterans responsible for some of the biggest misses in the Marvel canon (Morbius),  Monster-verse (Dracula Untold), fantasy (Gods of Egypt) and horror (The Last Witch Hunter) have created a hack piece with an absurd story, laughable dialogue, uninspired action scenes, a trite  villain and a trio of formative super heroines straight out of Nickelodeon action animation.  There’s nothing in Madame Web that indicates this sextet were aspiring for something extraordinary or even doing the ordinary extremely well.

Dakota Johnson, however,  is not willing to blow her Marvel-ous opportunity.  She doesn’t so much try to sell the terribleness, as tries to effortlessly rise above it— floating away into a hallucinogenic anesthesia.  Her character is a clairvoyant- who in her animating comic exists in blindness, sports neatly delineated black and white hair, is on regal life support condensed to a button flask and wears a pseudo Spider-Man black unitard with lines that point to and form a vaginal web- but in her cinematic incarnation dons either an EMT black costume on the job, and off, blue jeans of the perfect pale blue with the proper crotch and butt support, a stylish black turtleneck, ink black Doc Martens boots and a reptilian red leather jacket that echoes the color patterns of the original spider that bit her altruistic pharmalogical research scientist obsessed mom  in the deepest Peruvian jungles.  She is aptly named Cassandra Webb, giving her secondary credentials in the Spider-Man universe.  Peter Parker never shows up, but a very pregnant future Spider-Man mom, Mary Parker (Emma Roberts) does, in Madame Webb’s few Easter Eggs. 

Cassandra or Cassie informally, has the typical superhero tragic back story and other emerging powers.  Johnson hasn’t yet developed any phoniness or affectations that plague other Marvel hero iterations.  She seems lost on occasion, and that awkwardness along with her charm humanizes  and separates her from all the plastic humans and antics roving about.  She’s too real for this movie.  It’s Dakota Johnson’s real acting superpower and Madame Webb’s saving grace.  

Clairvoyance is a hidden mental power that is difficult to transfer to overt cinema terms.  Clarkson never comes up with an effective way to show it.  The best she can do is constant Groundhog Day fast forwards and rewinds, splashes of visions in heavy boody tones.  Hollywood doesn’t have a clue on how to deal with a woman who thinks her way out of trouble.          

The worst mistake the director and writers make  is to saddle Cassie with surrogate mom responsibilities after she rescues three teen (Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor and Sydney Sweeney).  Cassie has voiced an aversion to motherhood, so this is a rather cruel and unconvincing plot twist.  Yes, it sets up a franchise, but this should be Cassandra’s solo adventure.  The trio with absent parents, peekaboo midriffs, and special talents are a bad attempt at trying to create a Marvel Disney Princess franchise.  If you’re going to do that at least give them some notable personalities.  Co-opting the Disney verse is the first sign that the Marvel franchises are officially sunsetting.  

Madame Web gets a 3.0/5 or a B.  it’s streaming on Netflix.

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CREDITS:

Directed by

S. J. Clarkson

Screenplay by

• Matt Sazama
  Burk Sharpless
• Claire Parker
• S. J. Clarkson

Story by

• Kerem Sanga
• Matt Sazama
• Burk Sharpless

Based on

Marvel Comics

Produced by

Lorenzo di Bonaventura

Starring

• Dakota Johnson
• Sydney Sweeney
• Isabela Merced
• Celeste O’Connor
• Tahar Rahim
• Mike Epps
• Emma Roberts
• Adam Scott

Cinematography

Mauro Fiore

Edited by

Leigh Folsom Boyd

Music by

Johan Söderqvist

Production

companies

• Columbia Pictures[1]
• Di Bonaventura Pictures[1][2]
• Marvel Entertainment[1][2]
• TSG Entertainment[3]

Distributed by

Sony Pictures Releasing

Release dates

• February 12, 2024(Regency Village Theatre)
• February 14, 2024(United States)

Running time

116 minutes[4]

Country

United States

Language

English

Budget

$80–100 million

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