Lost on the dreary Oregon coast, Fran finds solace in her cubicle, listening to the constant hum of officemates and occasionally daydreaming to pass the time. She is ghosting through life, unable to pop her bubble of isolation, when a friendly new coworker, Robert, persistently tries to connect with her. Though it goes against every fiber of her being, she may have to give this guy a chance.
REVIEW:
In Sometimes I Think About Dying the main character Fran (Daisy Ridley) thinks about dying peacefully, gracefully: in a foggy forest on a soft green bed of moss, sometimes bug covered, sometimes not; on a serene beach under a pyramid of driftwood kindling; in a gray office as a giant snake slithers near.
For most of the movie Fran’s reality is dull, gray, monotonous and repetitive, full of routines. She’s a clerk for the Portland Port Authority, hearing the ships roll in behind an ever screen of cranes and construction steel, a bridge in the distance the only hint that there is an ocean, river, lake, even mountains, anything. She eats the same meals always with cottage cheese, does sudoku every night, brushes her teeth and then to bed at the same 10:15 pm time. Her mother’s phone calls always go to voice mail. Nobody is watching and the world is background noise.
Sometimes I Think About Dying was initially a play called Killers by Kevin Armento. Killers intertwined Fran’s character with the obsessions of a female serial killer. The dying stayed, the killer was cut in the adaptation by Armento, Stefanie Abel Horowitz, Katy Wright Mead and directed by Rachel Lambert.
Fran is technically suffering from acedia: a feeling of of not caring much about much of anything, especially one’s position in the world. It’s often a sideffect of those who engage in soul sucking work. The movie shows that living rich lives outside of the job and having fun at work with both banter and routine is the existential hedge.
When a new guy, Robert (Dave Merheje) who takes the place of beloved coworker Carol (Marcia DeBonis) after she retires asks Fran out, her world starts to change. He invites her to a movie, then another at his place, and soon a murder mystery party. Fran enjoys the friendship and starts a different kind of life, starts to find things she formally disliked interesting now.
Director Lambert keeps Fran mysterious and reserved. Outside of cottage cheese we don’t know what Fran really is like, until a closing confession after an office breakdown reveals it. Ridley plays her with an affectless deadpan, until the moment her new feelings cause her to express her thoughts and conflicting emotions to the man she so desperately wants to have a friendship with.
There’s a refreshing honesty and familiarity to the way Sometimes I Think About Dying renders everyday life as a cell in which a woman has stripped herself of choice as a survival mechanism. At the end of the film, Fran encounters her former co-worker Carol, whose life has not gone as planned. “Every day I get up and I see the day out there and I get my coffee and I sit here and I think, all right. All right. This is what I have right now,” Carol tells Fran. “And no matter how much better whatever I imagine in my head is, it’s not as real as what I do have. So — it’s hard, isn’t it? Being a person?” Fran watches across the table, water welling in her eyes and nods.
Sometimes I Think About Dying gets a 3.5/5 or a B+. It’s streaming on Mubi
CREDITS:
Directed by
Written by
- Kevin Armento
- Stefanie Abel Horowitz
- Katy Wright-Mead
Based on
Killers
by Kevin Armento[1]
Produced by
- Alex Saks
- Daisy Ridley
- Dori Rath
- Lauren Beveridge
- Brett Beveridge
Starring
- Daisy Ridley
- Dave Merheje
- Parvesh Cheena
- Marcia DeBonis
- Meg Stalter
- Brittany O’Grady
- Bree Elrod
Cinematography
Dustin Lane
Edited by
Ryan Kendrick
Music by
Dabney Morris
Production
companies
- Point Productions
- Saks Picture Company
Distributed by
Release dates
- January 19, 2023(Sundance)
- January 26, 2024(United States)
Running time
93 minutes[2]
Country
United States
Language
English
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