After October 7th

He had collected remains for most of his life
but now can’t stand the smell of grilled meat

His son marks time from that fateful date,
everything before that, lost in time’s horror.

His son-in-law now gags at the smell of rotten food.

They work to bring the families of the dead closure,
even though there is no real closure for them,
just the collecting of  every fragment for burial.

They’ve seen death, know it’s sickly sweet smell,
know the bloody, blown up bits from the frequent 
bus bombings and shootings, but nothing like this.

Those old enough knew the returning smell of ash,
remember the Nazis forcing them to search the 
piles of bodies for gold and silver teeth.

The people knew what their yellow and black vests
meant and gave them the leeway to do the job 
no one else had the stomach to do.  

But this was too much, even for them.
They would retch, feel themselves torn apart 
as they recover so  much blood, bone and flesh
from homes destroyed by rocket grenades.
 
They knew the smells would never leave them,
nor will they ever  get rid of the pictures in their 
head, that they will live in emotional confusion, 
the silence of disassociation and PTSD triggers.

Yet they will continue to carefully sponge off 
the tiniest bit of the dead’s being from the bullet
fragments lodged in the  living room walls- gently 
pushing leather sofas piled with children toys 
back to their original positions once done,
then, going on to the bedrooms to discover bullet  
riddled fathers and dead mothers with their dresses 
pulled down, knives embedded in their vaginas.       
  
Nowadays they stopped ducking for cover, 
because it took too long, added too much 
to their job. They had to work quickly so 
the work could be finished by nightfall before 
the IDF came and forced them to stop.

The father copes through prayer at 
the Western  Wall whenever he can.

One son copes by crying to his wife,
the other, unmarried,  to his therapist.

Away from their families they remain silent
only commiserating with each other for 
the daily pre-search shop talk.