Stage Directions for the Theater of the Absurd

Act One (The one and only act of which there is no other.)

Vladimir and Estragon having waited for Godot
long enough decide to stand up and walk home.
They dust themselves off. A boulder rolls on stage.
It stops in front of them. Enter a sweaty Sisyphus.

Vladimir: Godot!
Estragon: Godot!
Sisyphus: Not Godot. Sisyphus. Godot told me you two fools would be here.
Vladimir, Estragon together: He was here! He came!
Sisyphus: He was at the bottom of the hill looking for you. Got tired of waiting and went home.
Together again: He came? He’s gone! What will we do? What will we do!
Sisyphus: Do something productive. Help me push this.

The two get on both sides of Sisyphus and help him push the rock. At the top of the hill the three high five each other.

Meursault, the main character, from Camus’ The Stranger enters. He meets the three at the top of the hill. The three stooges are sweating from their effort. The boulder rolls down the hill again, taking Vladimir and Estragon with it.

Meursault: L’estrange. Se merde.
Sisyphus: You said it. Shitty strange. That damn rock does this every fucking time.
Meursault: Non è questa la definizione di follia?
Sisyphus: Is that crazy or what? Or is it me?

Sisyphus tries to free them, but can’t. They are simply pinned down too deep.

Enter Dr.Bernard Rieux, the main character of Camus’ The Plague. Rieux examines the two. He takes a syringe and administers a vaccine to the boulder. The boulder tremors,
belches, farts and releases what could only be described as rock shit. The boulder rolls further down hill releasing the pinned Vladimir and Estragon.

All five roll up their sleeves and start pushing the rock.

The rock turns into The Rock, wrestler and movie star Dwayne Johnson. He starts wrestling, body slamming, sleeper holding them until they all are just one big boulder rolling up the hill.

At the top of the hill the Roadrunner of Loony Tunes fame enters, stops, “bleep bleep” at them, and then eases on down the road, leaving them choking on the dust kicked up. Wile E. Coyote flies by on his Acme Rocket. An explosion occurs offstage and soon the stage is littered with cartoon coyote parts trying to reassemble themselves.

The Rolling Stones troupe stops pushing the boulder. They pick coyote bits off themselves and each other and throw the parts to the audience.

Enter Bugs Bunny with carrot. He notices Dr. Rieux in his white coat and stops.

Bugs Bunny: What’s up Doc?

The Rock turns back to the rock. The Rock inside the rock complains.

The troupe resumes pushing the rock.

Enter Elmer Fudd in full oversized hunting regalia and big shotgun.

Elmer Fudd: Why you wascally wrabbit!

He chases Bugs around the boulder a few times. Bugs stops and notices he blends in with the color of the boulder. He helps the others push it uphill. Only Bugs’ white fluffy tail gives him away. Bugs noticing Fudd noticing him tucks his tail between his legs and continues with the push. Fudd positions himself on the other side hoping to stop any forward progress they made. They push. Fudd pushes back. The boulder wobbles back and forth a little bit in the absurd exertion and counter exertion.

Enter Porky Pig in full formal clothing. The curtain falls. Porky Pig sticks his head from the curtain and addresses the audience.

Porky Pig : Th-th-th-that’s All Folks!




I just wanted to write a silly piece that both Literature students and their professors and poets and writers in writing programs will find funny and deep.  It’s sufficiently broad enough that non literati might enjoy it also.