Everything that Matters

Is this howling coming from my 
soul’s basement from me?. Or them?
The ones who betrayed life, death, me?

I’ve done everything expected of a son.
Outlived them.

They taught me everything—
but I’m not even sure
I know the truth.

I have more
questions than answer.

Why have I spent a lifetime running
away from them only to build a house
to hold their corpses inside my psyche—

a bright-dark half- sublet storing
the monstrous joy of their existence?

She was
made of earth.
He was too.

He was unafraid
of knowing and seeing
her air and fire and water.

Her weakness is she
let him gamble it all away.

They gave away
everything
that mattered.

They rot in my
inner room
with no windows.