A Very Shaggy Wake

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Outside of town a man died

naked beneath a nice tree.

 

Some said  he was old

and that the tree was an elm.

Some said he was young

and that it was an oak.

Others, that he was a child

and that it was a magnolia.

 

The only thing they agreed on:

that he was naked, dead, under a tree

and they felt sorry for him.

 

So, the Widow Smith secretly

dressed him in her husband’s best shirt

because she was still mourning

the loss of Tom’s chest.

 

Mr. Aglet, who owned the shoe store,

privately donated the old Nike’s

Timmy abandoned when he went to Harvard

because Aglet missed Timmy putting them on.

 

Haberdasher Scye donated his swankiest cufflinks-

the one’s left behind when a newlywed customer

learned that his wife was in labor—

because Scye hated the look of an unadorned shirt.

 

He then gave his favorite top hat

for no man should be buried with bad hair,

his finest knee-high dress socks

because that’s what funeral’s demand.

 

He than gifted his finest silk tie,

a nice leather belt of the man’s waist size,

and just to finish the look

 

a properly somber black jacket and pants.

 

Optometrist Eyear noticing the man

was squinting rather oddly

crafted a fine pair of designer spectacles

that fitted perfectly on the dead man’s nose.

 

Everyone in town felt good about their gifts

and the funeral was well-attended.

It wasn’t until he was deep under

did they notice that they forgot the underwear.

 

They found them, the next day,

the one thing that knew him best,

hanging high in the branches of the tree.