“Aquaman”: James Wan and Jason Momoa Save the DC Cinematic Universe

It isn’t Jason Momoa’s chiseled abs, pecs, and quads that make him perfect for Aquaman; nor his abundant scaly and wavy henna tattoos adorning those wondrous abs and pecs; nor his acting style which is a mix of strongman moments culled from the Schwarzenegger Conan the Barbarian and Steve Reeves Hercules films; nor even his atavistic good looks. Nope, what makes Momoa the perfect Aquaman is his long tresses with naturally tinted highlights; specifically the way his hair free flows like a supermodel in a L’Oréal ad in the liquid Maine air and the breezy aquamarine ocean currents without a tangle or snarl.

Aquaman is an unabashed spectacle of over the top silliness, voyeuristic adolescent masturbational repression mixed with enough genre cliches and action set pieces to make one think you are watching a really good Aquaman movie when you really are seeing (and reading without the thought bubbles) just the latest average Aquaman comic.

Besides Momoa, Nicole Kidman and Amber Heard amp up the ocean hotness level considerably. Kidman as the Queen mer-woman appears in enough form fitting white armor and costumes to make one think that she took on the role to define what it means to be the ultimate MILF. Heard as the red headed mer-Princess and sub-marinating love interest plays her role as if she was auditioning for the Tarantino version of The Little Mermaid.

For those originalist Aquaman offers a short blonde hair Patrick Wilson as an Orm-ery King placeholder and Wilem Dafoe as a Cobra-Kai adviser with a man bun.

The under water cinematography/CGI has just enough green density to make it seem like Aquaman was really filmed under the sea (even the sound design for the dialogue bits has an appropriate ocean gurgle), while the contraptions and Atlantean cities wouldn’t seem out of place if inserted into the Disney version of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Some of the sea monsters even steal their inspiration from the Disney Classic, though the other smaller oceanic life has a cartoon reality that could only come from watching The Incredible Mr. Limpet too many times while under the influence of seaweed cocktails.

For those willing to get swept into its currents, Aquaman is a tsunami of fun.

All photos courtesy of Warner Bros Studios.