“Tau” Is Not an Intelligent Machine

Any hopes that Artificial Intelligence might achieve greatness, humanity or even some kind of non-revolutionary singularity are dashed by the averageness of AI movies. Tau, a Netflix sci-fi original, proves that garbage in garbage out not only makes buggy code but seriously faulty robot movies.

If the soul (Ed Skrein) behind the soul of the machine (voice of Gary Oldman) is bad the machine itself can’t be very good– especially if the first soul kidnaps a third soul (Maika Monroe) and keeps her in his high tech fortress so the second soul can grow and learn from her- and keep her from escaping. Assisting with the captivity is an evil robot doggy sentry and an army of nano drones that look like the Scrubbing Bubbles. Eventually soul number three learns that her survival and freedom depends on befriending and teaching soul two the ways of the world.

Aiding this kinky subtext is a set design that makes the mansion resemble Christian Grey’s dungeon and a ripped villain into punching, choking and punishing like a true dominant. Look sideways and Ed Skrein emits some serious Jamie Dornan vibes. The only thing stopping this from becoming a threesome is that Tau lacks a penis.

Maybe the future of AI movies is in soft core porn? Either way Tau is pretty much a machine language recode.

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