Fast X: Dumb Fun and Horsepower Thrills

Over many missions and against impossible odds, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his family have outsmarted, out-nerved and outdriven every foe in their path. Now, they confront the most lethal opponent they’ve ever faced: A terrifying threat emerging from the shadows of the past who’s fueled by blood revenge, and who is determined to shatter this family and destroy everything–and everyone–that Dom loves, forever.

Review:

The best performance Vin Diesel ever gave was one where he was never seen. His voice work as the tree creature Groot from The Guardians of the Galaxy films, is limited to three words, uttered with endless variations in tone and emotional shadings- I am Groot. In Fast X, the latest in The Fast and Furious Series, Diesel has thousands of words and is seen all over the place and yet I wished he had been heard and not seen. “ I am Vin Diesel”, he declares, in a mumbled monotone, “watch me collect $10,000 per word for looking like I’m falling asleep.” 🙂 🙂 Diesel’s salary for the series is $20 million. Relative to the work up on the screen Diesel is the most overpaid actor on the planet.

But this is a series where the acting stays pretty much under the table. Mostly famous stars get paid considerable money for slumming through one dimensional roles. Fast X is all about the stunts and demolitions, the family of supercharged car warriors, racing, races, and muscle flexing displays. The plots are dumb and getting dumber, the cars getting faster and more expensive. There’s a $6.5 million gold plated Lamborghini Gallardo that’s raced and dented around Roman streets.

Jason Momoa plays the main villain. He’s more Joker, the Cesar Romero kind, who shows up whenever Fast needs a villain to propel the next plot twist. Momoa’s brand of villainy air quotes everything in a faux macho chill, but at least he seems committed to giving some kind of coherent performance. His lunacy tends to be limited to placing ever increasing Simon (the toy game) looking sized bombs under all the pretty very fast moving things.

There are five plots that run simultaneously to produce enough dumb storylines to feed all the stunts for the next two planned sequels. Fast X is just the initial film of a trilogy finale. Diesel needs another $60 million for his retirement fund, obviously .

Paul Walker may be dead irl but in Fast he’s still alive, living in some secluded and blissful hideaway. I’m willing to bet that after the actor’s and writer’s strike is settled, and the issues regarding AI character compensation is resolved, that some AI version of Walker would play a major role. The Fast movies need to give the fans a proper Walker send off. It’s the only way that this series can exist without the constant mansplaining every five minutes important plot details from the other nine.